Your Cheating Heart...

I've been mulling a point lately and feel a desire to share it here. Forgive me for it's muddled gathering, I'll try to be coherent as possible. The topic of cheating has come up and I've thought about it greatly. Almost everyone I know that has been in relationships, has been or has cheated. With varying degrees of outcomes. Most couples I know, break up. Whether right away, or some time later. Either way, the infidelity is an envitable cause of the parting. And for me, I don't understand it the way I should. I don't understand the allure of cheating like my peers seem to. I understand the temptation as I have experienced it on numerous occasions. That look shared between to forbbiben potential lovers. The curiousity of the other. What they are like in the behind bedroom doors. Or simply, what they look like naked. I understand it. Feeling truly wanted, without the history or familiarity of your current spouse or partner. All of that I understand. But what alludes me, is the reasoning behind it. When the act is thought out and the consequences mulled over, it is always the wrong desiscion. Always. When that look or wonder becomes the morning after, the magic is gone. Cinderella's slipper laying on the floor in a heap of clothes. You are left with guilt, shame and dissapointment. Because in the end, no one ever lives up to the hype. Like a blockbuster movie with a bad script and worse acting. It's never the passionate decadent event that you imagine it to be. And so you are left with the question of confession. And that question will eat away at you, and your current relationship. So why do we as a people fail to think of this "morning after"? In the interest in full disclosure, I have cheated. And I didn't feel very good about it. And of course I kid myself into thinking that somehow it wasn't my fault. That I had no choice. But we do have a choice. It's thinking ahead, it's thinking how it'd feel if it happened to you. And having been cheated on, I know that it is one of the worst feelings on earth. Your mind races, thinking the impossible. The images of betrayal looping through your head. And when I ever think about the possibilities that lay ahead for me to cheat. I think of the way it broke my heart and haunted me for months, if not years. And the few hours of pleasure it would give is not worth giving the one I love a severe amount of pain. If I was able to do that, then I don't love them at all. Forgive me for the preachy nature of this post, but it's the truth. When you cheat, you think only of yourself. And I am not the type of person to do that anymore.

Attempting to Ignore Ignorance

With the recent passing of Health Care Reform, I have seen an influx of ignorance being shout from the rooftops of Twitter feeds and Facebook walls. Ever since the beginnings of the internet, politic discussion has expanded. This has brought plethera of differing views and theories on all things politic. What the internet offers is a place for all types of views to be shout from the rooftops for the world to see. It certainly feels great to be able to type here now, and know that my views can be seen by the entire populous. The flip side is that in this age of information, a lot of ignorant people can say anything they want. I just recently had a "coversation" via Facebook that I'd like to share here.
Status:
Jimmy C What does the government want to control next? Life liberty and the pursuit of health care...
Comments:

Kate S
hello socialism

Mallory L
where are my kittens hiding?

Kate S
obama probably aborted them

Marc Hooks
good god these comments are ignorant as fuck....

Kate S
our president is ignorant as fuck considering he just passed a bill against the will of the majority of americans

Marc Hooks
the surge in Iraq, social security, civil rights laws, etc etc were against the will of Americans... last I checked Americans changed their minds. And that Abortion thing... it's really ignorant because the bill makes sure that there are no government sponsored abortions. http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2010/03/21/now-incensed-over-anti-abortion-... See Morehttp://news.blogs.cnn.com/2010/03/21/now-incensed-over-anti-abortion-executive-order/?hpt=T1
You are entitled to your opinion, just make sure you know what you are talking about. Using the "Americans against it" argument is ridiculous. We elect politicians, we aren't politicians.

Kate S
i didnt elect obama. i am entitled to my opinion but any true american would agree with me. idc if abortion isnt government sponsored, they still arent against it and i can google things to make myself look smart too but im not gonna waste my time. yeah americans changed their minds because obama paid them off and dont try to tell me he hasnt ... See Morebecause it's been proven that he has. i live with 2 doctors and hear everything about different health care organizations that are given millions of dollars to support the health care bill. i do know what i talking about and if me making a comment about abortion is ignorant idk how you think its okay to actually abort an innocent child. its no different than the soldiers dying in iraq and those men and women have chosen to sacrifice their lives for our country but democrats and liberals seem to be so against that. hmmm...



I shared this to show what is out there. I am by no means always right, my opinions are my own and they are backed by education and care. What I think is wrong is blindly repeating slogans without rhyme or reason. Calling President Obama a socialist is just ignorant. It's tantamount to calling Bush a facist. And unfourtunatly, that did happen. And I disagreed with it then too. I will always respect your opinion as long as it's backed up with some knowledge. In this information age, it's a crime to be uninformed.

The girl above has proven that she either doesn't fully understand this administration or doesn't care. And I got to a point in the conversation where I gave up. I can't keep trying to have a rational argument with someone that will never allow my side to enter their realm. I don't hate conservatives or Republicans, I actually agree with them more than they seem to realize. But I do hate anyone that spews hate speech on either side of the political spectrum. So I have to make a decision to ignore ignorance altogether. As hard as that is to do these days.

Carpe Diem

I was thinking about a phrase my father used to tell me all the time when I was younger. The saying goes "Don't put one foot in yesterday and another in tomorrow, you'll piss on today". When I was younger, I would always speak of how much "that time" was better or how great it will be when I'm "this old". My father would remind me to live for today, not piss on it. Much to my chagrin, I didn't listen and this affliction still curses me. I think we as a people constantly look to the past and yearn for days gone. How many times have we uttered "I miss high school" or "I had the time of my life back then, not like now". And if that weren't enough, we dream of when we have it all figured out. We go to school and wonder what it'll be like in "the real world", we get the "real world" and wonder what it'll be like to be married and have children. We get to there and long for days of retirement. It never ends. Whilst we are in the current time, we never seem to cherish it. In college, I was dating a girl seriously. I would constantly look to the day when I was married to her. Never realizing that in that moment, I was having so much fun. And that while I fantasized about the day, the white wedding wasn't meant to be. I never wanted to open my eyes to what was in front of me, I just kept inputting her into my future. Had I stepped back for a second, perhaps I would have realized that we weren't right for each other after all. On the other side, I now think of college and regard it as the best time in my life. I had a ton of fun, little responsibility and my whole life ahead of me. But when I was there, it seemed boring and meaningless. The fact is, I'm looking at the past with rose colored glasses. I remember the laughter and the fun, not the tears and the fighting. I look back on drinking with friends, not struggling to scrape enough money together just to eat. I wonder why we do this to ourselves. Why we choose to want a distorted version of the past or a hopeful vision of the future instead of taking in all that today has to offer. If I were to put all of my energy on today, and enjoy the moment perhaps I would have a better life. I don't know how to fix this, and perhaps I never will. But what I do know is that life should be about enjoying it, not being disappointed by it. In the end, I must consciously choose to seize the day and live it to it's fullest. Because what I need to remind myself is that yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.

Loves Labor Lost

I read the other day that 94% of singles between the age of 20 to 29 believe in soul mates. This brought me to think about the reasons and ramifications for such a lofty percentage. First of all, we are all brought up to believe in true love. From The Notebook to The Beauty and the Beast, we are taught that love is in fact real and happens in all sorts of ways. Love is all around us in fact. But the thing is, I don't think we see it in real life as much as when we watch television or movies. How many times have we seen a couple and remark "they are perfect for each other! I just know they're going to be married"? How many times in our own relationship did we think we had "the one" only for it to end? I know this has a hint of bitterness to it and I don't want that to be the case. I know that love exists, I know that it is possible for two people to care about each other so much that they have never-ending, never faltering love. But in my experience, it's just not as common as we were led to believe. That meeting across a room, eyes locked, feeling of magic just doesn't happen to everyone. Some people think they are in love but only realize they were in fact in love with love. And maybe that's the problem. We are inundated with love stories from the start and all we have to go on is a series of fantasies and unreal expectations. So when we are lucky enough to love, we don't expect the day to day grind of it all. We never expect the "stupid fights" that turn two well meaning, otherwise rational people into screaming, red-faced animals. We never expect to hit the rough patches of insecurity, jealousy or just plain boredom. The movies do not contain scenes like that. And it leads us to believe that maybe, just maybe there could be something better out there. A relationship without all the petty bickering, or day to day issues. But the fact is, there isn't a couple out there that doesn't deal with that. That dream man or women doesn't exist, because no one is perfect. The thing some people fail to realize is that love is rare, it's unique. And despite it's inevitable problems it's something that you should hold on to and cherish. It's something you should fight for. There is no fairytale out there but there is magic to had. And when you don't work for it and stay true to it, you'll never achieve it. You'll always be chasing for the gold pot under the rainbow.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost, Just... Different

In the last few months, I have realized an important truth. When someone in your life is gone, we have this way of freezing them in time. For instance, my cousin will perpetually be 9 years old in my eyes. For some reason, every time I see him I am surprised that he is a teenager still. And I think of the way I thought and the things I did when I was his age and realize I don't know how to treat him anymore. When I was 16 years old, I preferred to be thought of as an adult. After all, I was responsible and thought about issues most adults do. What I am trying to say is that when you lose contact with someone, you freeze them in your mind. They stay the same weight, height, have the same traits. But if you see them again later down the line, you realize that this was a collection of your memories, not a picture of the person they are now. So we, are inevitably shocked by the things they do or say or even how they look. For some reason, we never think about how they'd change, or grow. Or in some cases become someone you wouldn't recognize.
This has gotten me to think. Does this happen, these same changes, while your in that person's life? Do you carry on, never noticing the change because you still want them to be who they were. Or is it because of us that they don't change. Perhaps they are hiding this whole other person underneath the whole time. And it bursts out when they are gone. I guess we'll never know, but either way we don't miss the person that exists today. We miss the person that we imagine they are. And that person will never exist, no matter how much we want them back. Everything is different, and there is no turning back. The only solace we have is to think fondly of that person, as they were. And survive on that.